Surgery and Walking

Hi y’all!  Today we did 45 minutes which was 1.62 miles.  We did this early before the sun was really coming up.  It was very nice and very cool out this morning.  I also got the carb thing back together today.  This is a good thing.  I was starting to wonder if  I was ever going to be able to get it under control but I did.  Not because I willingly fell off the wagon but due to circumstances I have had to adjust.  I will just keep hammering away at it until I make good progress and stuff.  Not that I haven’t been making progress but I don’t want to fall so far off the wagon that I won’t be able to recover.  I just wish there was an easier way to eat when you are out and about.  I think there has to be but I am not sure what it is.  If anyone has any suggestions, let me know.  Tomorrow we will be going to our rescheduled Reds game so I will get plenty of walking in there.  And this time, I bet you I won’t be huffing and puffing!  The last times we were out there I was huffing and puffing something awful but this time I won’t.

Remember last month when I was talking about a relative that was having surgery?  Well that was my brother.  He had gone in for a heart cath.  About a year or so ago he had some trouble with some congestive heart failure and he had gone in for a check up for that.  They decided to do a stress test which led them to believe he needed a heart cath done. At some point in all this they decided that he had parts of his heart not working and that could have been due to a heart attack in the past.  I am not sure where we learned about that at, but it was discussed in there at some point. We all went up there for that.  It was an all day affair since the guy who did it was also the guy who took care of the heart issues that came in the ER.  But he got it done and it was done successfully.  Said that if he needed stents or anything they would do them then.  Well, I just knew.  Don’t ask me how I knew, but I knew that it was going to require more than that.  Sure enough, once the Dr had looked at it he came out and told us that he was going to require some sort of open heart surgery.  That wasn’t what any of us wanted to hear.  We had briefly discussed this before he had gone in for surgery.  I don’t think anyone came to any solid conclusion about the “what if…” of that situation but here it was upon us, requiring some sort of action.  The Dr who did the cath said that the heart Dr who was going to do the other surgery would come in and talk to us before he was released.

So let me stop right there.  This was not a normal situation.  Usually it is us, on the other side, with one of our elderly relatives that has something going on .  This was a very strange situation to be in.  He even said that this was just bizarre.  I agree.  I do know I sat in the room with him the majority of the day before the cath, because I just didn’t want to leave him up there. I really hadn’t entertained that idea either, so I just stayed there.  I just couldn’t hardly stand it really. There is just some pitiful aspect about when a relative, that again, has always been a Superman and completely invincible, is the one who has gone down for whatever reason.  If anyone knows me, y’all know how I consistently act silly all the time.  No one would ever suspect how I really feel about stuff and that is a good thing.  I think that staying consistently silly is a positive thing especially when someone is facing something unpleasant.  I just hated that he had to do this and would have gladly traded places with him.  Without a doubt.  In a blink of an eye.  This is random but if he called me now and said he needed a kidney (no worries there, all is ok but I’m just saying), I would sign up to give him one of mine without even thinking. That is how much I think of him, how much I love him.  Anyway, I guess we expect parents and older relatives to become sick and have to deal with these things.  But when it is a brother, that is a different situation.  I really couldn’t even briefly entertain the idea of anything but positive things coming out of this.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if something did go haywire, but I just couldn’t let anything happen to him and have him taken away. And I consider my brother to be the best in the world.  He has not just been a brother but also a Dad at times because my Dad was just not around nor alcohol-free enough to be Dad.  And, they did.

This was territory that none of us have ever ventured into.  Our Mom had some stents a few years ago, but no one other than some cousins, and my in-laws, have had anything like this.  We really didn’t know what to expect I guess.  But we knew enough about heart issues to know what the major idea was and how it would be done.  The Dr who would do the surgery came in and explained to us the procedure of taking veins from the legs and using them to put in the heart.  And he was going to need a triple by-pass.  This is where a machine does the breathing and blood pumping for you while the Dr does the work on your heart, and he was going to need to replace 3 veins in his heart to reestablish blood flow.  They also said somewhere along the way said that this would possibly cause the part that appeared to be damaged, to be good again.  And I believe that that was accomplished.  The Dr explained that the percentage of failure or bad things happening (they used a more technical term than bad things now) during the surgery was 1% or less.  Hmm.  Everyone’s first impression of a by-pass is a disaster.  Your brain immediately goes to bad things or people not doing well.  Our first instinct is to call down the bad stuff or think it when in reality, times have changed.  This is a VERY serious operation, don’t get me wrong.  But it wasn’t like it was in the old days, with someone on a ventilator for a week, with the prospect that they may or may not be the same again.  In fact, these are very routine surgeries now they say.  Ok then.  The odds of bad things happening if the surgery wasn’t done was pretty bad.  So the Dr left us with that and to discuss it.  My brother, of course, was by no means gung-ho to get started on this one.  But he agreed he better do it, after minor discussion.  He had a follow-up in 2 days with the Dr who would do it and they would set a date and stuff then.  He set a date of two weeks ago today, in July, so he could get some stuff done before the surgery since he would be out of work and not able to drive for 4-8 weeks.  After seeing the surgeon this time, his thinking on this whole situation changed a bit and was more willing to get it done.  I can see where he thought like that.  I had my gallbladder out a few years ago.  I kept putting it off and putting it off. Gallbladder surgery isn’t anything like open heart surgery but no one is looking forward to surgery.  But once you get it done, you question why you waited.  I don’t think he is at that point, because he didn’t fiddle with rescheduling it several times like I did the gallbladder one.

My brother came down for the 4th.  We had pizza and some <gasp> cake and had a good time.  He had to go in the following Monday for all sorts of follow-up and pre-op stuff.  His veins were checked and were deemed ok in June for the surgery.  He had to do several things the day before.  And he had to be there at 530 for the surgery!  Ugh.  We both hate early mornings.  I can’t do them because if I get up that early, for whatever reason, I get an infernal migraine that lasts about a week.  Had one the day of his cath that lasted for 6 days or so.  And well, he just don’t do early.  So we show up at the appropriate time and he gets checked in and stuff.  They come in and start prepping him and we figure out where to go.  We came prepared this time with a laptop and some other stuff.  They came and gave us updates and things about when he went on the by-pass machine and off of it, and a few other updates.  I went out and got lunch and on my way out I just started singing the hymn “Praise Him!  Praise Him!” for no reason.  In fact I copied it onto my Facebook page that day!  I found out why when I got back.  The Dr came on shortly after I came back with lunch and was explaining how the surgery went well, everything went as it should and he was very happy with the results.  Praise God!  I knew he would be ok!  I just knew it.  I turned it over to God and let Him take the reins.  I instilled my faith where it needed to be and all was well.  I would have never made it without God being there with us.  He really is with us in all aspects of our life if we invite Him in and allow Him to be there.  I thank Him so much for being with the surgeon, with my brother, for keeping my Mom together, for safe travels, and for a whole lot of other things that may seem insignificant to most people, but God cares about it all.

Another odd thing there that happened too was at breakfast I picked up a Coke Zero with my name on it.  Stacey is a hard name to find spelled right.  Well I sat it down and lost it and went back and grabbed another.  My brother’s name is Jeffrey, and I named my son after him.  Everyone but me calls him Jeff, but I went back and put my hand right on a bottle with Jeff on it.  Then I located the other one.  How odd was that?

After he was back in his room, they told us he would probably be swollen and look odd with the breathing tubes and stuff in.  We got to go see him and he was awake and very aware of what was going on.  The breathing tube was irritating him but that was to be expected.  He was conscious enough to nod and stuff when we talked to him. Not sure how much of that he remembers but he was doing very well.  I called in the mornings and evenings until he could take his cell phone back over.  We went back up the next day to see him and he was up sitting and had been walking!  Wow!  His recovery has gone very well.  And like I said above, today is 2 weeks exactly from the surgery and he told me today he has felt better today than all the other days since this thing has started.  Dr said he would feel better in general after all this and he told us the day after surgery he could tell a difference.  I know he will run circles around me someday!  But he is getting there.  I want to thank his friends for all their help and all the people who prayed for us.  It makes a difference knowing there are people out there who care enough to help you and who are willing to say a prayer for you.

I better sign this off for today.  I have a long day tomorrow but it will be an awesome one, especially if the players come out to sign autographs and stuff.  Have a great night, y’all!

–S

Lawnmowers, SUVs and Mud

Hi y’all!  I was very busy today but I did get a small walk in after I got to work.  One of the girls wanted to go on a walk and I went with her.  We only walked 13 minutes which was 1.11 miles.  I will take that considering how busy I have been lately.  Tomorrow we will resume our normal walking in the morning, at least for tomorrow. I really look forward to resuming my regular schedule.  Jeffrey may have to help out some more but that will be ok.  I had a couple of Coke Zeros today and I really cut back on my food consumption.  I think that will be a big help too. Drank more water than anything else and that is good too.  I need to not overdose on the sodium in the pop but I think a few won’t hurt.  And getting out of the house and back to work is going to help me more than I ever thought.  It is like I never left.  It is rare you end up leaving a job and go back a period of time later and you fall into shape like you didn’t leave.  I have things I have to brush up on but I am good.  Glad to be back actually.

Just a small update–the relative that had surgery is doing very well.  Thank you to all who were sending happy thoughts and prayers to us.

This morning before I had to go to work we went to pick up the lawnmower we were buying from a friend.  Our old one went and puked and this one was very inexpensive and a John Deere to boot.  We borrowed my uncle’s truck again just like we did for the one that was free.  We picked it up, and it went right in!  The other one causes all sorts of issues trying to get it loaded.  It just sat too low or something but this one went right in.  We talk to him a while and then we head home and again I decide to go get him and let him back it into the bank of the yard and so he can look at the mower.  We get it back to the house, he backs it in and Derek drives it off the back of the truck . Then, with all the monsoon type weather we had been having, he got stuck!  There the truck sat, crossways in the middle of the road, stuck in mud!  Derek and I hopped in the back and it wouldn’t budge.  So we got a shovel, dug out some mud and put some gravel on under the tires.  Still wouldn’t budge.  He is about to spazz out because it won’t budge.  Oh but get this!  I go get my little fiddly SUV, and he is driving a F250.  I hook up my hitch, we attach a chain to it and to his truck ,and I pull it out!  I pull out a pick-up truck with my SUV!  That was about a hoot!  But again, 4x4s are amazing.  🙂

Here is today’s 30 day challenge:

Day 6–Your favorite season and why:  I love fall.  You would think I would like summer since it is my birthday or winter for Christmas.  But my favorite is fall.  I love the feel of the coolness in the air, the feel of wiener roasts and hot chocolate in the air.  I feel the ghosts and things around Halloween.   I can smell the pencil lead and diesel fumes of the school buses.  Fall, much like the highways, calls out to my soul.  Right after my birthday I get the fall bug that I cannot shake until fall shows up.  It almost throws me to a depression because I want fall to show up so bad.  I love the leaves, especially the bright yellow, orange and red ones.  They have to be a specific shade too.  I can’t wait!

This is about all I have for now.  I am about beat and I wan to walk early so I better head to bed. Have a great night y’all!

–S

Weight going DOWN!

Hi y’all!  Today I had to take one more trip to finish my job training.  I was glad this was over with today.  I will be able to get on a normal work schedule that will not drive me mad.  I had to walk after I got home.  It was 85 degrees and we walked 40 minutes for 2.13 miles.  I had the sweat pouring but I got it done! You remember that hill I was talking about that I always take a break on?  I took a 3 second, count it 3 second pause today.  It did’t even count as a break!  I don’t know if I have gotten that much better at the hill or was just hot  I think it was both.  Still using the hand weights too.  All in all it was a good walk.  I powered up the last 2 hills like there was no tomorrow.

I had to stop at the Dr today to pick up my prescription so I weighted myself.  I am down 3 more pounds for a total of 24 since this started 10 weeks ago.  Yay!  I know that don’t seem like much butt I am losing a pound a week which is what they recommend–1 or 2 a week!  Clothes are still fitting good.  I put on a pair of capris I could not fit in a few months ago.  Tshirts too.  I am having no issues walking and the hills are getting easier.  I am so thankful for the changes.  And it isn’t always about how much weight you are losing.  It is also about how better you feel and stuff like that.  I am getting there!  This week and last week have been hard because I have not been home much.  But after this week  I am going to tighten the carbs again and cut some portions down too.  That will help along with the walking.  The key is consistency and I see that now.  And also the fact that I had some dumplings and some cake is irrelevant.  You have to have some of the things you like occasionally because if you can’t then what is the point?  It also cuts cravings so you don’t eat a whole cake or a whole pot of dumplings the next time you come in contact with them.

Ok so the main reason for all of these changes, which I haven’t really gone into and if I have, forgive me, is hyperglycemia.  That translates into high blood sugar.  It isn’t diabetes, but if it isn’t gotten under control it will turn into this.  It is also known as pre-diabetes.  I decided to test my fasting sugar and other times of the day to see how things affect me.  I asked the nurse today what it needed to be and 120 or less on fasting is good.  I usually am under that.  If I go by the book it needs to be under 110.  I will defeat this.  I will be healthy and a side effect of this will be looking cute after it is all said and done.

I need  to catch up on my 30 day challenge.  I forgot to put it in last time and my daughter reminded me of it.  Here goes:

Day 2–Talk about your piercings or tattoos if you have any.  I have three holes on the left, three on the right and one up at the top on my left so I have 7 holes in my ears.  I only wear the one on the top of the left ear.  I try to wear the others but the thing is even if I wear sensitive earrings my ears still turn red and break out  I am not sure what the deal is but I hope to find some soon that won’t irritate me so much.

Day 3–My favorite television program  Oh boy.  Here we go.  It will for sure have to be programS.  Ok, I will start with my two favorites.  Impractical Jokers.  I love to laugh.  This show seriously puts me to the point where I cannot breathe watching it.  That is all they needed to win my heart.  Idiotest. I love a show that is hilarious and makes me think.  And who don’t love Ben Gleib?  NCIS, Major Crimes, Rizzoli and Isles, Bold and the Beautiful, Days of our Lives, Bizarre Foods, Jeopardy, Big Bang Theory, Mom, The Odd Couple, you know, things that mostly make me laugh.  There are others but my brain is stalling.

And again for Twitter.  I tweeted to Idiotest and they favorited my tweet!  I love it!  I love it because they take the time to acknowledge their fans.  How awesome is that!

Seriously, how cool is this?  I love it!

This is about all I have for now.  I have some stuff coming up tomorrow that I would like for whoever reads this to say a prayer for us.  God will know the need.  Thank you!  Have a great night y’all!

–S

Tired, Tired, and Some Wisdom in the 30 Day Challenge

Hi y’all!  First and foremost Happy Birthday America!  I may not blog tomorrow.  We have some stuff planned. Today I did a total of 1.41 miles while shopping and then  I did an additional 55 minutes for my regular walk which made a total of 2.9 miles today.  I did walk with my weights today.  I can really tell a difference in my arms not being as fat.  They are still fat but nothing like before.  My pants are still fitting better and I have got to remember to punch that hole in my belt!  I was again very tired today but I huffed it down the road anyway.  I had to listen to one song because my battery was low but at least it lasted for the walk on a red battery.  Good old iPod!

I learned a new trick today.  When I am going up the hills and I get completely winded, and by the way there is only ONE, count them ONE, on the walk that does that to me, I figured out how to easily get through it–I put my head down, put my weighted hands on my hips and concentrate on the pavement and gravel while singing a little louder in my head to my tunes.  This totally distracts me and before I know it I am at the top!  Hey if it works, go for it I think.  Whatever little things it takes to get me through, I am for it.  And, by going back to work, I may be able to walk with my ladies in the PM and finally get in the extra exercise I have been needing, at least two days a week.  I don’t want to go gung-ho and wear myself totally out the first dash out of the box.  But even today at Wal-Mart I noticed that my back wasn’t bothering me so bad, I was NOT huffing and puffing or getting completely exhausted from the get-go and I was able to keep going.  I am noticing so many changes and I am so thankful to God and to the Dr for getting me straightened out.  I was tired as my title states but I kept it going and have to.  Also I am down to only one short break, about 20 seconds, enough to make blog notes, catch my breath and let God’s cool wind He sends me every day cool me off.  Then I am back on.  The other hill that I had to stop in the middle of on the way back, I go right on up it now. It seems that once I get going the huffing and going up hills gets better after I get warmed up.  Maybe I just huff it out on the one hill and my body isn’t interested in huffing anymore.  Whatever it is, it works.

I can’t really tell a difference in times of walking either other than I feel like I have everything accomplished when I walk in the morning. I am not sure if you are supposed to feel a difference in different times of the day walking or not.  If I walk in the evening I have something to look forward to when I get home.  Either way, I don’t feel different other than the feeling healthier that I have been feeling now for a while.  Monday will  be week 11 of diet and 10 of exercise.  Go me!  I absolutely love walking now and I look forward to it.  I can’t wait to get walking when it is time to walk.  I like to pretend that I can feel myself getting healthier.  Today though we walked shortly after noon and it was hot.  And muggy.  I did see one dragonfly but the little gnats that try to fly in your eyes were everywhere! The point is I walked in the heat because I usually don’t do heat well.  I am going to be out in the heat in a ballgame in a few weeks and I need to get myself acclimated to that or being out in any heat I choose to be in.  This is good practice and a way to build a resistance.

I have just been glad to have the day to do whatever. The dogs and cats have swarmed all over me all day and I was glad to see them.  My back is finally unwinding and my knees are unlocking but I will say when I was walking I felt some weird clicky sensations coming from there.  I hope they keep themselves intact but the sitting this week would kill anyone.

The Blog Centre listed me as on of the #ff for today.  Thank you very much!  I love being able to get my blog out there so others can see it.

#FeatureFriday#blogstofollow#sharethelove#FF@poothead@Verushka143@Br0nwynBJN@randommusings29@susanpajaro Thanks for the support

— The Blog Centre (@theblogcentre) July 3, 2015

I think I will do a few more of the 30 day writing challenge.  I may do almost the rest of them.  Don’t stop reading here!  There are some interesting ones coming up!

Day 18— Post 30 facts about yourself. Ok here goes.

1. Jesus is my Savior.
2. I love to write.
3. I have met Rob Thomas.
4. I love to drive.
5. My favorite foods are mushroom and Swiss burger or pizza.
6. I am becoming an exercise addict.
7. I have two children.
8. Chihuahuas are my favorite dog breed and I have one.
9. I also love Min Pins and I have one.
10. When I shop I grab the second one back in the row.  Who knows what may be up with the first one!
11. I LOVE sweet tea.
12. I love to read.
13. My dream car is a Camaro with all the ground effects.
14. I want to go to Ireland someday.
15. It wouldn’t take much to convince me to move to Louisiana, near the swamp right outside New Orleans.
16. I am allergic to honey.
17. I am loving water as much as I do sweet tea.
18. My dream job would be to write professionally.
19. My hero would have to be my brother.
20. Stupidity is the one thing I cannot tolerate.
21.  I love going to big cities
22. I get to meet The Fray in a week and a day.
23. I have been married for 17 years.
24. I am working on my Master’s degree in Electronics and Computer Technology.
25. I am going back to work in the group home I worked at before.
26. My son has beat leukemia!
27. I get hot and sweaty very easily, even in below 0 weather.
28. I love to blog!
29. I don’t judge anyone for any reason.
30. I think that if you don’t own a 4×4, it isn’t worth having.

Day 19–Discuss your first love.  Well that had to be, other than a pet, George Peppard from the A-Team.  That probably gives away my age huh?

Day 20–Post about three celebrity crushes.  Oh my.  I gotta make it four. Ok obviously Rob Thomas.  I love the Impractical Jokers so would that count for 4? Ben Gleib obviously.   And last but not least, Michael Weatherly.  DiNozzo on NCIS.  And please know I like all these for very different reasons and not just the obvious although they aren’t hard on the eyes.  🙂

Day 21–What three lessons do I want my children to learn from me?  This may not be a lesson but love Jesus and please look at things from a different point of view than anyone else.  And keep things where they are never boring.

1. You do not have to put up with any crap from anyone.  Period.

2.  Work for what you have so you can always be self-sufficient.

3.  Please use common sense and avoid stupidity.

Day 22–Put your music shuffle and post the first 10 songs.

1. Sons of Jezebel– Whoo Boy
2. Pink–Family Portrait
3. Rob Thomas–Streetcorner Symphony (One of my favorites!)
4. Steve Earle–Copperhead Road
5. Ratt–Dance
6. Nickelback–Burn It To The Ground
7. Magic!–Rude
8. Pink–Sober
9. Michelle Branch and Santana–The Game of Love
10. Bon Jovi–Always

Day 23--A letter to someone, anyone–Hi kids!  There are four things that you also need to know.  There is good in everything, even in the most awful of situations.  Please look for it.  Also, there is humor in everything too.  If you can’t laugh, what is the point?  Live each day to the fullest.  And NEVER forget to tell those around you how much they mean to you even if they are sick of hearing it.  Life is too short to let people go without knowing what they truly mean to you. These four jewels of advice will carry you through life no matter what.  Love, Mom

Day 24–Write about a lesson you have learned the hard way.  The one thing I have learned the hard way is how to take care of money.  Every time we have ever taken out a loan or tried to do something new it seems life has attacked and things have gotten messed up.  I try to avoid that now and take better care of stuff.  You don’t learn these things until you get older though.

Day 25—

Search any word in Google Images and write about the 11th image.  I searched Chihuahuas.  That little one is so adorable!  I love animals so much!

Day 26–Write about an area of your life you would like to improve.  I do that every day.  My weight and self-image–I have to drop weight for my health.  The benefit is I will look awesome when I am done!

Day 27–Conversely, write about something that is kicking “butt” right now.  I have gotten to talk to some really cool celebrities on Twitter.  I hope I keep getting to!

Day 28–Post five things that make you laugh out loud.

1. Impractical Jokers
2. Stupidity at times.
3. Auto-correct on my iPhone
4. Ben Gleib
5. My radical dreams.

Day 29–My goal for the next 30 days, or goals, are to keep walking, tighten down my carb control, refresh on how to do my job at work, keep blogging, gain more followers, see another Reds game, meet The Fray, and start back to school for the Fall semester.

Day 30–My highs and lows for the month–July has just started but I have my job back and I am still exercising.  My lows, well, being broke.  That will change with my job.

That is all of that one!  Interesting stuff there.  Annie, you pick our next one ok?  And that is all for tonight! Have a great night y’all and a safe and wonderful 4th!

–S

Job!

Hi y’all!  Today we walked the harder hills again.  We did 1.52 miles, for 43 minutes.  Again it isn’t the longest time or mileage but it is up and down some serious hills.  It was close to 80 this morning when we walked.  It was so muggy and sticky too.  I hope the hills help me lose a little better.  I also have been eating a bit more it seems.  I am not sure why.  I just feel hungrier.  I know I go through these weird phases where I am hungry then I eat less.  Must be the time for the hungrier phase.  I hope that I can get that regulated.  I don’t usually have any trouble but I don’t want to start now.

I had talked yesterday about trying to go back to work at the group home that I used to work at.  I found out today that I got the job!  I am actually thrilled.  I missed the girls there. I have over the last few years been split about going back.  I want to think that my schooling will pay off and I can get a job to make 7 figures (HA!  I really need to start my career in comedy with that attitude).  But I feel pulled to go back there.  I have dreamed of it.  And out of over 300 (!) applications, yes over 300, since I had to leave there in 2010, this is the place that takes me back.  I am so very thankful but I am so split in my head.   I want to be able to do more with myself.  I am so split between wanting to finish my Master’s degree and just going to a regular job, saving for vacations like a normal person, and proceeding with normal life.  But yet I also feel called to pursue higher education.  Honestly, I think that helping the people with their everyday goals is a good way to do more with myself.  I may as well face the fact that I have missed the place and enjoy helping those girls.  If you are fuzzy on what a group home is, then feel free to ask. I am going to run on the assumption that you know.  Also, the biggest thing I don’t want to admit is this:  I was good at this job and interacting with them yesterday, I see I haven’t forgotten or lost my ability.  So many things to contemplate.  Bottom line is this: God wants me there. First place in 5 years to welcome me with open arms.  God must want me there and made a way.  So here I go.

I don’t have too much to say tonight which is a rare occasion.  I have had good news today and some other rather sucky parts that just disgust me.  But I will get through because God will see me through.  Have a good night y’all!

–S

There is more than corn in Indiana

Hi ya’ll!  Hope everyone had a great Friday.  We started it out by walking for 1 hour 3 minutes which amounted to 2.11 miles.  That is pretty good.  I decided this morning that it was time to add an extra lap, to account for the idea that I can’t seem to work in exercise in the PM currently.  It was hot and muggy out today, and buggy.  Everywhere we walked we had bugs, some small, some that looked like jet planes, swarming all around us.  One of them kept lighting on us and biting us and it got me several times and once real good by my wrist.  Then it landed on Annie and on her face and it kept landing on her face but she was able to shoo it out before it bit her.  There was also a huge dragonfly and it was a neon yellow.  I hadn’t seen one like that but they sure are pretty.  Annie doesn’t like them but again she doesn’t like any bugs.  I had to go out to the store this evening so I added an additional 1.07 miles in all the walking I did this afternoon.

Talking about bugs made me think of my face.  I have had to have gotten into something that I am allergic to.  My face has been really dry this winter and I have been on a quest to find something to moisturize it with so I will stop looking flaky.  I found a moisturizer that is supposed to be for sensitive skin.  I used it last week and I am not sure if it was it, because I have used it before and it only turned my skin red, or something in the laundry soap.  My cheeks have been red, and only on them, and peeling.  Peeling like i have a huge sunburn or something.  Today has been the first day that I still have peelage but just minimal.  I hope it clears up soon so I can stop looking stupid.  Just aggravates me that I try to do something to help myself and true to the way it always goes, it fouls up and backfires.  Meh.

Anyway it seems like I have felt like my chin is getting bigger or something and I think it is time I did something else too other than walking.  I know I talk about this frequently and it is as if I am arguing with myself.  I want to add something else on for exercise and I determined yesterday that it would have to be the same way I do the morning walking and that is once I commit I will have to make sure no matter what it is done.  I guess the issue I have is this:  do I want to walk more, or add something else like an exercise video or something?  I need something that works more of me.  I really just feel kind of bummed, or bloated or something.  Not sure what is happening with that but I think I am still losing and on the right track.  This is not a whine to change all the work that I have done up until now, but I think I need to do more.  I feel like it.  I think I need to stop blogging on it and just pick something, try it and see how it turns out.  I think that maybe I get myself all wound up and panic for no reason.  And I just need to chill.  On a related but different note,  I have been using the generic Splenda for sweetener at home.  I just like it better for some reason so I use it.  I had been using one brand and ended up buying a huge bag of Wal-Mart’s generic and I am not sure if it is me or what, but it just tastes better to me.  Seems like it was sweeter and sweetens stuff better.  I am not sure if there is a difference between all brands and how they taste but there may be.

Annie finally got her post up for the Liebster Award that I nominated her for. Her post is here if you want to read it:  https://anniebanannieee.wordpress.com/2015/06/05/liebster-award/. I have to say that one of the things she had answered really shocked me.  One of the questions that I asked was who your hero was.  She replied that she didn’t really know but she thought that her hero would be someone who does more for someone else than themselves.  She proceeded to say that it was her Mom (me) or any of her family members.  These responses always intrigue me because I just plod along, doing what I think needs done to help people out, never thinking that anyone notices. I guess I was just raised that way, to share and to help and to feel better after doing it.  I don’t consider myself to be selfish but I have never ever considered myself to be one of those people who put their own wants and things on hold to ensure someone else is ok but I guess I may be wrong. It is very tiring physically and mentally sometimes, but when they are gone,  I will have no regrets in knowing that I did all I could to help.  Wish the whole world felt like that.  I am not sure if I expected her not to notice or what, but I never pay attention to it.  I guess I see now why she does all these things, like concert tickets and stuff, for me. I never really even thought about what others, especially my own kids, saw in me and saw me doing. Kids do really notice things that we do, even if we aren’t paying attention to it or to them noticing.  In all reality, I guess I don’t do much for myself. Oddly enough, I have always considered something as simple as an hour to read or listening to music in the car something for myself (music in the car involves loud rock music up and singing as I go—funny to those who know me huh?).  In the grand scheme of things, either I am easy to please or I never thought that doing something for myself involved something bigger.  I do sometimes wish that I would be able to have some time and stuff for myself but maybe some day.  Sometimes I wish I could just have one wish or dream come true.  If I had to pin that on one, I have no idea what I would pick.  At this hour of the day, why even contemplate it, since it may never happen anyway?  Not a Debbie Downer here but, who knows what God may have in store for me.  Heaven for sure, but while I am still here?  I don’t have a clue.  I only pray that a fraction of my dreams come true and that they match up with God’s will for my life.  Sometimes I feel lost and spinning my wheels in mud that I will never get out of.

So we stopped at a place called the Dutch Pantry while we were out.  They have the best ham salad and potato salad ever.  I had some for my breakfast and I hope I didn’t shoot past my carb limit.  I will walk it off tomorrow though.

No one tweeted at me today that was ultra cool but this did happen.  One of the local weather guys here, they had shown his feet during the pet feature today.  He was wearing a pair of neon green shoes with a suit!  I did tweet about that to him and he favorited it so that was pretty awesome.  And if this thing is right, Twitter uses a misspelled word–favorited.  Ha!

Ok. to the title of my blog, there is more than corn in Indiana.  There are woods.  Lots of woods.  Trees,grass, lots and lots of forest, and crops.  I took several pictures today while I was out, just to show what this area that we live in looks like.  I am going to post those now, and describe a few more later.

The next few show the areas where we walk every day.  We are truly out in the woods.

That is about all for today.  Have a good night!

–S

Walking and walking

Hello again! Walking this morning was awesome-1 hour 6 minutes and 2.34 miles. The cat went part of the way with us too but he pooped out and went home.  Silly cat.   It was really cool and for the most part we had a nice breeze.  It didn’t seem too hard today to walk.  Well actually it is getting a lot better.  Walking up and down these hills out here is getting so much easier and the longer I go the less I am huffing and puffing.   I know that my huffing and puffing will get better.  I do know that sometimes it seems like I am doing this for nothing especially on days when it feels like your gut has backslid into being as big as it was.  I am noticing changes.  I just have to keep at it as long as I can which will be indefinitely at this point.  Maybe when I get to where I want to be I can cut the exercise by a day or so but knowing how things work for me, I will have to add a day.  I will need to exercise 8 days a week…..

I have learned over the past couple of years and part of it just recently that it is just as important to take care of yourself spiritually as well as physically.  I have been reading my devotionals and my Bible and saying my prayers without fail almost daily.  I say almost daily because if I know I am going to be gone I do my reading a day ahead but every day I talk to God.  It doesn’t matter what it is about, how silly it is or how insignificant it is, I talk to Him.  I am sure he gets tired of me but I never tire of talking to Him.  I like everyone have very serious requests, some I am still asking about.  I will see results, but I have a feeling it will be something huge that will knock my socks off.  I cannot do anything without knowing that I have that inner peace that comes from a relationship with God.  All my decisions aren’t perfect, as I am human, but that inner peace that comes with knowing that you are trying your best to do what is right is priceless.  Tonight we start a new Bible study at church so I am excited for that.  One of my friends that I don’t get to see very often will be there so I am anxious to see how much trouble we can get in, like we did at the last Bible study.  They should know by now not to let us sit together….or me and her Mom either…..ha!!  We are all dangerous when left to ourselves.  Ha!!!!

Taking care of yourself physically is important as well, internally and externally.  This stuff I am dealing with as far as my health goes has changed my attitude on many things.  I just have to keep plugging and not give up.  And I won’t.  I think I have said before that all things happen for a reason, and I think that when we get to the point where changes HAVE to be made, I think our body as a whole gets on board and cooperates.  I think we can cooperate before then but there is something about need that changes the view of everything.  If I didn’t have whole body cooperation, I would not be able to do this.  God is also guiding me and without His strength, I couldn’t do any of this either.  I can do all things through
Christ who strengthens me-Phil 4:13.  I do say I am very head strong and stubborn and I have not a clue as to why I haven’t been able to take care of this before now.  I can only figure it is all about the need.  I am not saying that need is the ultimate motivator for everyone but you know maybe it is.  If someone feels like they need to be smaller, or healthier, or whatever they think they need to be, I think that would have the same influence.  We all know that for serious changes like that there has to be, at least for me, an underlying NEED to make these changes because they aren’t easy.  Furthermore, at least here where I live it is so much easier to purchase food that isn’t necessarily good for you but good tasting and easy to fix.  Let’s just say that if I DID like fruits and veggies the fresh ones are in limited season in this part of the country and I would be stuck with the produce section for the most part, or cans or frozen.  Or trying to find a restaurant with a low carb option.  That is almost impossible.  It is so much easier to eat what I call “normal”, burger, fries, sweet sodas, cakes for dessert, etc., than something healthy,  It is how we were raised and the ingredients are easily accessible. There is nothing wrong with that, but later in life when weight almost kills you, it isn’t easy. This is all what I think and what I have noticed in my household and area stores over the years so don’t spazz out.  I still think moderation is best but when you have a craving for something and but if you aren’t concerned with how it affects you, you don’t care how much you eat, which was apparently my issue which I have changed.

For those who are curious, this is my 4th week of the new diet and the 3rd week of exercise.  I still think I need to add more exercise but for now I will just stick to my walking and my weights in the evening, if I can remember to do them. I talked about the changes I made yesterday and adding the extra protein did seem to help.  I had been thinking that it was either the lack of carbs and sugar or maybe an hour of walking was wearing me out.  I will get myself leveled out but that takes time too.

The blog I wrote when Jeffrey was sick is getting close to coming to its end.  The post today was a rough one to write then.  Jeffrey’s Grandma Crowder, Derek’s Mom, had gotten sick and was taken to Methodist a day or two before we were able to come home.  She was very sick and there was nothing they could do for her.  She passed away the next morning after we came home.  I think that was one of the hardest times in our lives, when she passed away and Jeffrey was right in the middle of taking chemo.  Looking back it looks like something that was impossible to get through, but we did.  Again God had us when we didn’t even have a clue for ourselves.  Here are the next few entries.

Hello all!  I know, it has been a long time since I have updated, but we have had a LOT going on.  I will try to get everyone up to speed as best as I can!  But boy it is a hot one out there today isn’t it? 

The last entry I made was on April 27th I think.  The next day Derek calls me to tell me that they are taking his Mom to the hospital and she was unresponsive.  Once she gets to the hospital they determine she had a massive brain hemorrage and was airlifted to Methodist here in Indy.  Derek decided to come on up that night and brought Larry, my best friend of 22 years, with him.  I was so thankful he came, because I wasn’t for sure if Derek would be ok on the drive or not, and he needed another person to help him see in the dark for his turnoffs.  I am so thankful to Larry for coming.  None of us would have survived until we went home had he not come!  I know I don’t say it often enough, but thank you Larry, for always being there for all of us! 

When he got here we went over to Methodist to check on her.  Due to the part of her brain that was damaged the doctors couldn’t do anything for her.  We came home on Thursday, and they let us know on the way home that she wasn’t doing well.  Jeffrey cried from Bedford all the way home.  I felt so bad for him.  She passed away that Friday.  Talk about sad!  Here Jeffrey and I and his Dad, fighting the battle against leukemia, and Jeffrey and her had been so close and now he had to tell her goodbye.  We went on Saturday to make the arrangements and Jeffrey wanted to be a part of that so we let him go too.  I was very happy that he wanted to help but a little scared too that it would be to overwhelming to him.  He told me and his Dad later that he knew that Grandma had not been feeling well for a long time.  I was thinking of Grandpa Crowder too.  I can still see him sitting there on the bank of that pond collecting persimmons with me, trying to get to them before the dogs did.  But they are together again now! 

On Sunday Jeffrey went to church with Uncle “Dee Dee” but we were late but he did get there!  We didn’t do much on Monday but the viewing was Tuesday and I had a dr appointment.    The funeral was Wednesday and on that day I had to run to Bedford in the AM.  Yes trying to cram in a month’s worth of errands while we were home!  We had to leave early from there to get ready to go back to Riley on Thursday.  We got to clinic Friday and got to our room and they started chemo that evening.  We only had to stay until Saturday and we went home until the next Thursday.  Since his numbers wouldn’t drop that fast there was no need to keep us.  He had two days of chemo and a shot.  He was pretty icky at home.  He was sick at least once on 3 of the 4 days we were home.  We just let him rest mostly.  He wanted to get up and do stuff though.  He spent time at my aunt’s and my Mom’s and I went to lunch with my best friend Suzann the Wednesday before we came back. That was a lovely time!  I miss her so much when we are here!  I talk to her everyday but still that doesn’t replace a good lunch together! 

So again we arrive at Riley on Thursday and first the parking garage was all boogered up.  We drove for 16 minutes trying to find a space and could not and they charged me $2 for being in there!  I was NOT a happy camper!  Then we get to our room after we wait forever in clinic and they try to put us in a semi-private room.  Sorry, but I was NOT having any of that this time!  We ended up in one last round and was only supposed to be for a few days and that ended up being TWO WEEKS!  Needless to say we had a private one 10 minutes after getting there and we got very lucky!  I was fully prepared to do something else other than ride that out again.  It wasn’t just me either!  Jeffrey wasn’t having any of it either!  I am sorry but the things that one goes through during chemotherapy, one does NOT need to be either sharing that with the neighbor, OR partaking in their catastrophes either! 

Once we got moved in the chemo started rolling and it didn’t last too long it was done by Saturday, but the dose of the Cytarabine was very very high.  He then had another shot to end it on Saturday and done!  We are all done with chemo!  It was done at 11:15AM last Saturday!  YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!  His numbers fell between Monday and Wednesday and have been low ever since which is good, and we want them to be like that.  That means the chemo is doing what it is supposed to.  So far this round he has had two platelet transfusions and one bag of blood. 

Then this last Thursday we spiked.  We knew it was coming, it had happened every time, and hence the reason AML patients are in the hospital for so long.  Would rather be here than in the boonies when a fever spikes!  It started out mild around 10:30PM but an hour later hit 104.7!  Damn!  I thought the last round at 104.1 was high, but this has been the highest he has ever been in his life!  It dropped and continued to drop and hit a low of 97.9 the next AM but so far at least once in the day and night up until today he hit a fever.  He was on three antibiotics and now they dc’d the vankomycin (spelling?).  He has a gram negative rod infection which is the same as last time, the citrobacter infection.  His blood and platelets are heading down again, but remember his body is worn out and will be longer to recover.  Tomorrow will be day 18 of this round. 

So far today he has been up and about and has visited Keely several times!  We have hung out and talked to Michelle and Keely most of the day!  I am so glad they are back, although I know they are like us and hope we could stay home!  My brother came up last week with Derek and God knows I needed some of his humor! 

Last week we did get to meet some Indy drivers.  Sarah Fisher and John Andretti were among them!  That was awesome!  I have pics I will post soon! 

That is all I have to report for now.  Thank you all again for the prayers and support!  We do appreciate it! 

The next one is from after his treatment.   It was later in 2010.  The two after that, they are in 2012 and 2013.  The one in 2012 is about his Make-A-Wish trip and I want to write more on that before I post it.  We still talk about that trip almost every day and we did get to meet some famous people.  Stay tuned for that!  Here is the last 2010 entry.

Hello all!  Boy it has been a long time since I have been on here updating but I figured it was time! 

First of all, Happy Birthday to Jeffrey!  Eleven years ago today at 4:18AM Jeffrey arrived in this world!  The last year has been such a struggle and this birthday is soooo important to us!  We are having a party tomorrow for him and I am sure it is going to be a big one! 

Before I go on, please remember to say a prayer for all the children at Riley.  One of the families we knew from Riley, their son passed away earlier this week.  Please keep Cody and his family and friends in your prayers.   It just saddens me to no end to think that children, and adults as well, have to suffer through cancer or any type of blood disease.  Let us hope someday for a cure so we don’t have to deal with this ever again! 

I am not sure where I left off at in the other entry, so pardon me if I repeat stuff.  About midway through the last treatment, as I think I had put in the previous entry, Jeffrey had spiked a fever and it just did not want to go away!  It would go up and down every day for a long time.  I like to never thought it was going to end!  It finally did!  In the middle of all of it I finally asked one of the nurses what would happen to cause us to have to go to the ICU.  It would have to be breating problems and things like that she said.  Thank goodness we never had any of those!  Just with all that was going on, I had my doubt that we would be leaving the hospital together.  That last round was a very, VERY tough round.  It was combination of the high doses of chemo and the fact that his body was wore down. 

Right before we got ready to leave, I didn’t think we were going to get to go home.  We had been inpatient for, I don’t remember now how many days, but counting the two days that we came and then went home, we were well over 30 days total in round 5.  We kept waiting and watching the numbers.  They would just not come up like we had hoped. We go really lucky, and on that Saturday, we were finally allowed to leave!  There was absolutely NO WAY we were going to spend another day in there!  By the time we were done, we were all ready for home!  Just the sheer stress of what is going on with your own child, and those around you, it was just way too much, and being away from home by this time had really taken its toll on all of us.  Needless to say when they have us our walking papers we were gone!  God that day was hot!  I had taken my car up with us and drove home with no air!  I liked to croaked!  But we made it home, no issues, and the very next day I think Jeffrey went to church with Uncle Dee.  Back into a normal routine!

We spent most of June with home health coming in twice a week, cleaning his site and flushing his line.  Dr Zeng did not want to remove his line until they made 100% for sure he was transfusion independent.  At the end of June we went in to have his central line removed and a final bone marrow test.  That surgery went very smoothly, other than the fact that we had to wait all day to get into surgery.  He had no complications at all during the 6 months or so the line was in, and we were so happy for that!  Then there were no issues with removing it at all.  He had no problems with the line site or any infections. 

Medically he had been coming along just fine in June.  Otherwise, those who know us well, you all know about the issues we were having.  He got to a point where he was saying he was taking his meds and then spitting them out as soon as we would confirm he took it.  Needless to say this led behaviors that to a breakdown of sorts and that almost turned bad!  Not only that but he did several other things that should have never ever happened, and would not have happened, had he been on his medication like he was supposed to.  He was then rewarded with the option of do you want your meds in pudding or applesauce.  He has been on them since, and although we may have to add another medication on the near future, things have improved!   He was grounded for quite a while from several different things, and he did learn a lesson from all that thank goodness! 

In July we had our first checkup.  Our schedule will be one time a month visit to Riley until 6 months after the final chemo treatment, which will be December, then we will go once every two months to finish out the year from the last treatment.  During that visit, I asked some very important questions.  Dr Zeng said his immune system would not be close to normal for about 6 months after treatment.  It was important to keep him from sick people, and if he had to be around them, then he needed to wear a mask.  He could then go swimming and do most of those type of activities.  The one marrow test still showed him remission—yes!!!!   He had gained weight, up to 94.3 lbs. from the 79-80 that he was when we left in June.  He shouldn’t have to have any more bone marrow tests.  And I was concerned about his color.  He would still have days when he would look paler, then go away.   Dr Zeng confirmed that there was no reason to panic, and if I had concerns, they would look at the overall picture of blood tests, if he was constantly tired,  and other symptoms, and if there was a need, then further testing could happen.  Basically, no need to have a fit if something seems out of place to me.  His numbers in July–ANC 1400, hemoblogin 13.6 and platelets 326,000.  He was moving right along!    They prefer no OTC meds, and if we need something they can get a prescription for us.  That appointment went very very well!  

July sailed by, generally with some such thing going on every week, and most of August flew by.  Jeffrey keeps eating good, going to school, and some of his behavior is lining out as well.  We had another appointment in August, and again, be careful around sick people, etc.  When we were there he had a slight head cold.  As far as I know, and I could be wrong, if he gets a fever I need to call, but it may not require a trip to Indy, but they need to know about it as soon as it happens.  His numbers in August ANC 1960, hemoglobin 14.2, platelets 248,000.  All the numbers are great and Dr Zeng is still happy with how well he is doing! 

I need to thank all the people at Riley who assisted us while we were there.  I really appreciated all the DRs and nurses, but there were a few that really stick in my mind.  Dr Zeng and Dr Shih, and Dr Pradahan and Dr Knoderer—we really loved this guys!  Dr Vik too!  There were several interns and such but we can’t remember their names!  They were always compassionate, and helpful ,and chatty when they came in.  The Last thing one needs is a Dr that looks at you as a statistic and not as a person.  Not these guys!  They came in, presented what we needed to know, and took the time to chat ALWAYS!  Even seeing them in the hallway in passing, they always talked our ear off!  And sometimes, even if they weren’t on for that month, they would still make time to stop by and see how things were going.  And the 5th floor nurses!  I would trust them with my life also!  Salli O, Christina W, Denise, Erin, Paul, Audrey, Jackie, Renee, Kathy, Katie, and I know there are others there that I am missing, but they were all wonderful!  Not sure what we would have done without them on some days!  And Krista and Heather from Child Life and our social worker Stacey D.  Thank you all so much for all you had done for us!  It was not the same as being at home, but you all made it as bearable as possible! 

Seems as though an experience like this tends to make one panic at times.  Jeffrey has been slightly sick the last couple of days and of course in my head I had him pegged for the worst.  Someday I will figure out how to shut my head off so I don’t panic!  Then the other day, he started coughing, and I jumped up, yelling are you ok, with the intent to get him a puke pan, because for whatever reason I thought we were still at Riley and taking chemo!  And I was wide awake!  Geeze!  I remember when we first came home I heard his machines beeping at all hours of the day.  Not so much now, but that was an interesting experience regardless. 

Again, I want to thank everyone for all their support and assistance during this time!  We would haven ever survived as we have without help! 

The panic I am talking about up there, it eases but never leaves.  I still get all weird if he looks funny or acts or feels funny.  I know this far out he should be ok, but that worry is always there.  Just as the worry over germs.  You have seen that Luvs commercial where when the 2nd baby drops the pacifier the Mom picks is up, licks it and gives it to the baby?  That used to be me.  Now, if someone sneezes I am looking for Lysol.  Old habits die hard.  I think I mentioned a few posts back that it took around 22 days for something to become a habit, and after almost a year of avoiding sick people and germs, it is hard to stop at this point.  I still keep him from sick people and I have been known to keep him home from school if there are many sick.  We ditched the masks several years ago but I carry a small can of Lysol and hand sanitizer with me.  Going into the DR office I still dread it because there are always germs in there, not on my account but out of habit to keep it away from him.  The beeping monitors I heard forever in my sleep.  That finally stopped.  I do say though we have had some relatives in the hospital in the years since and I had to suppress my need to shut their monitors off beeping like we did at Riley.  I never paid attention to washing hands and stuff but now I sure do.  And how fresh food is when you order it.  We had to order fresh-cooked for him and to this day we can tell if something is fresh made or not.  I am sure maybe somethings there may ease up in time, but who knows.

This is all for today but more posting again tomorrow.  I need to get ready for Bible study.  Have a great night!

–S