Catch Up

Hi y’all!  I didn’t feel the need to blog yesterday just to tell y’all that I spent about all day catching up on Mountain Monsters and whatever else the DVR had in store for me.  That may have been boring although someday I just may do whole entry about Mountain Monsters.  We did walk yesterday of course, 56 minutes and 2 miles in the rain and today we had 55 minutes and 1.93 miles.  That is going very well.  I feel like I am getting stronger and my Mom told me today that my pants are looking looser.  I also noticed that even thought my belt is in the last hole, a hole I made myself a while back, I can pull my pants away from me even with the belt and that is awesome! I apparently need to add another hole past the one I had previously made.  I just like the idea I am seeing some results this fast!  Low carb does that they say.  And again I can’t say enough how I don’t miss the sugar.  I have been eating some sugar-free cookies and they are just as good.

I want to stress here that I wish the world would understand that there is nothing wrong with being heavier.  I had the same heart, the same mind, the same everything as someone who is smaller.  The only thing is, now I have to get my health under control.  Many times in my life I have wished to be smaller, or something other than what I am.  Maybe because of self-doubt, maybe because of how I think people view me, or how they treat me, or the idea that many opportunities have been missed because of my size or other factors that I wish I could change.  I know now I have to change this weight situation, and I am happy I get the chance to be something that I have always wanted to be, again for what reason who knows.  My body will look different but I will still be the same person.

This is a mystery to me–why does size 16 look small on some people and huge on others?  I have yet to figure out how some people who fit in certain sizes of clothes look different than others.  Any ideas?

Down the road, there is a specific area of road that for some reason attracts dragonflies.  I am not sure why.  I don’t see anything special there to my naked eye and very human sense of smell.  But the dragonflies, they love it.  It is just pavement and I know that itself is a weird concept for the middle of the woods.  I find them where they have been smashed there and when we walk, there are a whole bunch of them that scatter.  I saw one today that was black with orange dots on it and it reminded me of a helicopter.  Annie sees them and does this silly dance where she has to get away from them, up on one foot and sideways and all sorts of “OH MY A BUG I GOTTA GET AWAY” poses and shimmies  She hates any and all bugs.  I have never understood that because they are smaller than we are.  Anyway, I saw one of them fly off one side of the road and had to wonder, what do they live in?  Do the live in colonies, or in a tree, or in a hole burrowing into the ground?  (I do plan on Googling this later.) Do they have a ranking system like bees?  What do the colors mean? Do they all have names?  Do they know each other by that name?  Why could that not happen? Yeah my imagination runs off with these things.  Y’all see why it is important for me to get this out on paper (the screen) right?  Very simply so my brain doesn’t blow.

On another note, one of my best friends read my post earlier today on Facebook about walking and she told me in the conversation that she had never seen anything that I wasn’t awesome at.  It feels good when a friends tells you that even though you doubt yourself.  I have always valued her opinions and wish I could see her more often.  I plan on seeing her very soon, going down and spending the day with her (if you are reading this, very VERY soon).

It is three weeks from today that we will be going to see Rob Thomas.  The closer it gets the more excited I get.  I really can’t wait!  He is one of my favorites and I am sure this show will be awesome.  I will have lots of pics to post when we get back I am sure!

Tomorrow is our shopping trip to Wal-Mart.  I count the walking different on that day.  We usually get the same amount of miles but the difference is our time is split up.  I know the consistent time of walking is what is important but sometimes, especially with this, I will have to deal with what I have.  Also all the lifting and lugging has got to count for something.  I hope it does other than just being an annoyance.

Our Bible study tonight brought out one of many good points and that is we choose whether we are going to have joy or not.  It is a choice just like any other choice we make.  I try to find the good in everything no matter how bad or ugly the situation is.  Sometimes I have to look long and hard but there is good in there. This sounds so contradictory to my view of myself at times doesn’t it? I know God sees me perfectly but when you mix in all the other circumstances here around us, affecting us, weighing on us, it is hard to see things as He sees them.  It is so much easier to find joy in things around you as opposed to yourself, and I imagine that is because we are way to critical on ourselves. I do find humor at strange times, and those are times and places where one should not get a round of the giggles.  You ever get so deep in your thoughts that you crack yourself up frequently no matter where you are or what you are doing?  That is me, almost every day.  I always like to say I am never boring but the fact is, I just like to laugh and act goofy.  I choose to try to see the good in things and to be happy and see joy in it all.  I think I will also be able to change parts of my self-image too.  I just don’t want to get too far up that road, because a bit of self-consciousness, not doubt, will keep things real and keep us on our toes, or at least me anyway.

I think that is all I have for today.  Have a great night and I am sure tomorrow I will have one interesting Wal-Mart adventure to write about!

–S

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